A - Z thoughts on life as I know it! Today is 'A' Day

Just for now, I'm going to write this blog based on the letters of the alphabet so today I start with the letter 'A' ....a theme you might ask? Well what about whatever comes to mind on the day and maybe a theme will unfold and maybe it will be a random selection of words about anything and everything.

So today being the first day my letter will be 'A' and my word for the day is 'Action'

I will strive to be aware of my actions, how my actions impact others and how they impact my life generally and in so doing, I might even discover that my actions need some fine tuning.

I am reminded of the old adage that for each and every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
How so?.....well take family for instance..one simple word or action can trigger a minefield of emotions.

Often they are good memories, warm and fuzzy thoughts that trigger lots of laughter and reminiscing about some event from long ago. These are fun times where we  reconnect with uplifting and positive results, a good action.

Then there is the other side of the coin where some comment triggers a memory that surges up almost without warning and in the blink of an eye a 'reaction' is released, usually with the result being that the people involved are plunged into the murky waters of a time gone by where all was not so rosy for at least one of the people involved.

What to do then becomes a major point of contention....perhaps one of the people involved still feels deep hurt or pain from something that occurred in the past, maybe one person has worked through that to some degree and is not carrying that issue, one person or both may be totally oblivious to the fact that there is an issue in the first place, that is until a trigger is pressed releasing the scars of the past?

Either way it's a very real reminder that we all have hurt, pain, sorrow, loss and regrets locked away in our emotional vaults. It was once explained like having a filing cabinet where all of those past issues are neatly filed away on different shelves. Whilst the cupboard remains untouched, all is well to a degree but when that cupboard is rattled and shaken up those emotions that were once neatly stacked, now become 'all shook up', and out of order with the result being that we are thrown into emotional turmoil and once more are given the opportunity to look at our files, re assess them and re file them before we can move on. How we do that is entirely up to us of course..we can just shove them all back in and slam the door shut whereby they are left to rattle about with the slightest movement, the slightest provocation or we can take them out, have a good hard look at them and make a conscious decision as to whether we really do want or need them in our cupboard, clogging up the entire system.

Whilst I may not like what's happening in the moment, I sure do know what I prefer and that is to seize the opportunity and use it as a stepping stone along my path to personal growth and personal fulfillment.

How we do that becomes the tricky part. I see it as another opportunity to re evaluate whether those issues are worth keeping any more, can they be re addressed, re filed in a different order, moved from being filed high in the order of priority, those issues still needing much work or re filed on a lower shelf  where they have become of less importance, no longer having the ability to send us into a tail spin when being confronted by them.

So taking 'action' is paramount in order to reduce the clutter in the old filing cupboard. After all who would want to have the contents ruling your life, wouldn't it be so much better to feel as though you are in control and that those messy items aren't controlling your life. It's often hard work, to take responsibility for your actions, ascertain if you're actually acting with a clear mind or reacting from an emotionally cluttered stance.

The reward is worth the effort and I have a few strategies for working through the mire. To be continually working on maintaining my cupboard in a neat and uncluttered way is reward enough and each time I do the maintenance I feel a great sense of personal satisfaction which has it's own rewards, including strength of character, self worth, peace of mind and a happier heart.

I have a few strategies for my own type of maintenance including the following...

• Firstly it is imperative that I take the focus off the other person
• I must accept responsibility for my actions/reactions
• Then I can more clearly look at what's going on for me 
• Ask myself what am I feeling and name that emotion, if I can't name it I can't move on!
• Having done that I ask, when was another time in my life that I felt like this
• What  was happening in my life at that time
• Having ascertained the above, I then keep going back asking myself the same questions
• Is there a theme unfolding here?

Once I have followed these steps I am well on the way to realizing what it is that I have been reacting to...it's not the other person, it's something within me, the other person is merely the trigger.

From here I am in a position to take action. I've realised that I have a problem in some regard and it's my responsibility to do something about that...I can make a conscious decision to change an aspect of myself or I can choose to ignore it or be in denial because it all seems too damn hard.

Either way it's my choice, no one else's and I can only change myself, I cannot change another.
But I've found that a funny thing happens when I choose to change something about myself, I've found that by me changing how I react, that others change too as they will no longer be reacting to the old me and my old ways, they too have to change and adapt!