Dragonfly Dreaming: Tears, Bliss and the Whole Damn Thing!

Tears of sorrow, tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of happiness and tears of absolute bliss, there are so many types of tears which serve so many people in so many ways.

I doubt any of us give much thought to the purpose and reasons why we shed a tear and for so many people in our society, they would fight tooth and nail to stem the flow at any cost. How many people in our society today feel comfortable to openly shed a tear in times of sadness or loss. How many people would feel supported by those around them to be in the moment and allow their tears to flow. And how many people would feel comfortable to be the compassionate supporting friend or colleague of a person who is feeling overwhelmed and shedding a tear.

Some people seem to have no control over the act of shedding a tear and indeed it can seem like it's as easy as turning on a tap and turning it off again at leisure. Whereas for someone else it's akin to trying to stem the flow of a raging river, completely unable to stop the outpouring and with it that debilitating feeling of being out of control. Eeeeeeeeek and who wants to wallow in that feeling.

For some it's something that if it has to be done, then they prefer solitude and privacy, shock horror, what if someone was to see??? And what would that mean anyway...oh of course the old weakness principle and who wants to be perceived as weak?

What a tragedy that we as a society have bred and nurtured the perception that if someone cries publicly and if you're a man then it's the ultimate show of weakness. I can't even contemplate what that must be like for a man who has the urge to express a purely natural emotion and yet cannot do so for fear of how he will be perceived and most likely ridiculed.

Equally appalling is the fact that there are many women who also hold that belief, that their man or their son or their brother is weak if he cries...harden up they say, don't be a wimp another says and boys don't cry says another.

We as women play a major role in how our sons show their emotions, how they tackle life's challenges and how as men they grow up to respect others and accept others without passing judgement. Our own upbringing plays a great part in how we are moulded but we don't have to keep those behaviours or thought patterns. If we know they don't serve us well then we have the power and the responsibility to change them and in so doing we change the way we influence our children and our grandchildren and so on it goes and it's never too late to start to make changes.

What makes it additionally difficult is the fact that most of the time our tears are something than come as if an invisible button has been pressed, we often don't see them coming and feel as if we have so little control over stopping them.

I know I cry for many reasons, I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm watching a movie which can be drama, comedy or action, it just happens and I cry when I find myself suddenly experiencing one those synchronistic moments in nature when I realise, just for a brief moment that I'm 'at one'.

Mekong River...Lao

I like the bliss tears the most, the ones I've experienced so many times along my spiritual pathway and so many times when travelling to exotic and beautiful places on this earth. In those moments, its the tears that expand my mind and my heart and my being and release tears of absolute joy. For me it's a little of that letting go, knocking another brick off the wall that I've built to keep me safe.They're saying, Gayle, you're safe, you can let them go, feel the joy, feel the bliss that has been locked inside and now it's time to rejoice, experience life and let it all hang out.

Vang Vieng ..Lao

In fact without those tears I wonder how I would have coped with the downer moments that I've experienced in life. What would happen to that emotional wave that was sweeping over me. If I didn't cry where would that go, further inwards? expressed outwards towards another through anger? even deeper inwards to manifest later as illness?

Tears are a natural expression, once released they can never influence me again....there might be more but they too will be released. It's not always easy to express a tear, depending on the company, where you are in any particular moment, who you're with but I know for sure that once expressed I have always felt a whole lot better for the experience. Sometimes like a washed out rag, sometimes exhilarated but always better for the shedding.